It's been a while...(ramblings on the adoption wait)

I know I should be happy to think into the future and know that, by this time next year, I will be holding my little one in my arms. BUUUUUUTTTT...The wait is terrible. It now seems as thought USCIS is taking months to process and review received homestudies. I know I know I have no real need to freak out yet, my homestudy isn't even done, but the extra time is just that, extra time! I think I need to hold out hope that my child is just not born yet and the waiting will work out in the end. I know once I have a referral that is all that truly matters, but for now, I have a bit of tunnel vision and I already want my referral. I hear of all the families traveling or returning home and I want that to be me. Oh well, this too shall pass. (But when?!?!?) I knew I wasn't very patient before I started this, but once I decide on something, I really look forward to it happening with some consistent progress. It seems like everything that gets done takes an extra week. It all just adds up. My grandmother fingerprints (after 2 attempts and 2 1/2 months, I can't even remember how long now) never showed up at the DOJ. They had absolutely no reference of them. I was so frustrated and hurt, because now we get to wait again. She had them done AGAIN on Wednesday and hopefully by Tuesday we will hear that they didn't come back (she's 84 and they never pass the first time) and then I can have them redone and passed with a background check by the end of next week. Realistically I know they will pass by the 15th (hopefully), which is another 1/2 of a month. Then (if the agency doesn't throw one more 'missing' thing at me), my homestudy will be complete, but if the SW still needs to add info to it, it may not be done until the end of September, then 2-3 months (let's hope less, but I doubt it) to review and set up a fingerprinting appointment. Again this will take 2 submissions from g-ma, so there goes another 3 weeks to a month. Then the wait for the ever coveted I-171H (officially considered 'paper ready'). Again another 2-3 months (let's hope far less) and then I can expect a referral. At this pace I may not even have a referral by the end of the year. I guess I was hoping for this because if I was able to stay with the Guatemala program I would have had a referral weeks ago. Even if I would have waited until I was paper ready, I would still have had a referral by the end of the year. It sounds as though USCIS is very backlogged, so maybe, just maybe they will hire some extra help just until the end of the year to process all these waiting homestudies. There are just too many families out there waiting for children. Well enough of this, it just bums me out.

On a happy note, one of my best friends is coming up with her husband and mom this weekend. We are going to hang out in San Francisco and then go to Alcatraz (I've never been) and then scrapbook! WooHoo, sounds like fun. I hope everyone has a great weekend and for all those waiting on the important stuff, like a G & R date and travel approval and the like, I hope Tuesday brings you many happy updates.

Weekly Updates and Breastfeeding

I did finish the CPA letters. Yikes, that was pricey. I then received a call from Andrea at the agency that she has called the DOJ and they have no record of my g-ma's fingerprints even being done. What! Yeah, no record. G-ma has had them done twice by the mobile fingerprinting people (mfp). They (the mfp), have called the DOJ, after my not so nice message to them. And hopefully I will have some answers by Monday (Andrea left early on Thursdy and was not in the office Friday). This is now the only thing I need to move on and get a fingerprinting appointment so I can finally have my I-171h. I really wish this wasn't so difficult, especially so early on.

I'm also done with people asking me, "sooooo, how is the adoption thing going?!?" I just want to carry around this mug. (The writing in red says, thanks for pointing that out.) I'm kind of tired of answering questions. This ia why I didn't want anyone to know (except for my closest friends and family) until I had a referral. That was my original goal, and quite honestly, the next time I adopt that is the plan I am going to follow. It's so much easier to just be frustrated with the process and not have people keep bringing it up over and over and over again.

In other news. I have decided that I want to breastfeed the baby. I think I am still on the fence a little, but the only thing holding me back would be their age. If I get a young referral (less than 3 or 4 monts) I will definately breastfeed, but if the referral is 5 months or older and I may not travel for 3 months, I probably won't. I have been reading a thousand and one sites on adoptive breastfeeding (abf). Since I had a ton (and still do) questions I went to http://fourfriends.com/abrw/faqs.htm and http://breast-feeding.adoption.com/ (there is so much information here, it is mind-boggeling). It really sounds like it's the best thing for the baby, I just don't want to stress about it and I am not even going to start pumping until I get a referral. I have been reading, of course, more blogs such as milkshake: http://adoptivebreastfeeding.wordpress.com/ and an elephant's gestation: http://imhk.blogspot.com/2006/07/water-from-stone.html. I'm fully against all the pill and drug usage, so I'll have to just pump and see how successful that is. Some is still better than nothing and if the baby is really young, I think it may latch on easier. At first I really wasn't ready for the reation of friends and family, but so far everyone (that matters anyway) has been really for the idea. They want my baby as healty as possible and they don't at all think it's weird. Gosh, I have such great friends.

While I'm on a roll, here are some more super cute sayings and shirts from www.cafepress.com (I did a search for 'infant adoption' and 'paper pregnant'). Okay, blogger won't let me post, I've have to try again later.

CPA grrrrr...

Well, my CPA info is off. I sent it FedEx ground when I realized that I had bank statements and important info in there that I didn't want just floating around in USPS space. The CPA hopes that for just under 2 hours he'll have everything done. Well, good thing I paid off one of the credit cards so I can fill it back up again. I'm hoping I can get by for less (let's hope way less) than 500 bucks. I doubt it, but I can keep my fingers crossed, just in case. HOPEFULLY this will be the last item I need to complete my homestudy. I have felt so close and yet so far away for the last couple months. (Yes, I am humming that song by Carole King.) Oh well, off to bed. I hope to have my fingerprinting appointment soon. I need this closer to being done. I know I have just started the process, on May 5th, but I feel like I am progressing s-l-o-w-l-y.

Updates

Not much new around here. I received word from my agency that I need to have CPA notarize a form letter that estimates my upcoming years income from my newly licensed home daycare. Grrr. Just when it looks like everything is going to be nearly done there is one more thing. (Just remembered I need to fax to the agency proof that gma was fingerprinted (TWICE). I am silently cursing the day when, to complete the I-171H, I have to get g-ma fingerprinted twice in San Fran. (nearly an hour away, if there is no traffic). Oh well. Back to calling local CPA's tomorrow. They seem to have the nicest hours, 8-4 M-F. Oh, well, I'll keep you posted.
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In other news, I added the ticker to the top of my blog. I have always, even before I switched to Vietnam, hoped that I would be with my baby by March 15th. I don't want to jinx it, but I do hope that date is true.