Sheer sadness

(I just posted this and Blogger ate it. Grrrrr.....)

Today I got a call from my agency's Director that she needed to clarify which country I was going with, Guatemala or Vietnam. She had a note on her desk and wanted to double check. I said I was going with Vietnam and that I had just sent the updated information to CIS. She said okay, because we just got a boy in. As soon as I got off the phone with her I started sobbing uncontrollably. This would have been my son. I could have been posting pictures of my new little guy right here, right now. This is just heartbreaking. I wish money were never an issue. I thought I was a patient person and now I can see, I am not as patient as I would like to be. I am not even that far along in the process and I'm already tired of waiting. I just pray for those that are farther ahead and have been waiting for much longer are able to endure. This is so emotionally difficult at times. I feel sorry for my friends who are trying to be supportive and there is really nothing that they can say or do to make me feel better. If you've never been through it, you really have no idea.

On a positive note: The mobile fingerprinting agency came today to take g-ma's 2nd set of prints. They didn't get them all (she's 84 and very wrinkly-fingered), so hopefully they can just do a background check and see that her record is clean.